The Road to Transformation and Change pt. 2

I have a lot of moments of reflection and transformation this year. A global pandemic, a strict lockdown here in France, turning thirty-eight alone (physically speaking) a new job and relocation back to France can do this to a girl.

I am absolutely not at all the same person who went into lockdown on 16th March. That person no longer exists. People may find that hard to believe but yes, the shift has been that radical. Like peeling onions or stripping paint off walls, the layers, beliefs, bullshit and other peoples' expectations have been pulled away and now I am left with the real me, authentic self if you will. Spending two months alone and having your movements restricted can have the most profound effect on how you view yourself, what you want from life and what are the most important things to you.

When you are taken out the context of your normal life what you worry about or priorities becomes very different. In lockdown I dreamt of swimming in the sea. Something I have taken for granted before suddenly become the ultimate luxury. I fantasised about meeting and hugging my family in England. Regretting that I didn't hug them more and wondering when I will see them again. I remember in 2016 when I had my business in Spain and I lived there I was flying between Madrid and Manchester. I had money back then. On a whim in Madrid I bought a pair of Dolce and Gabanna limited edition sunglasses which I didn't need. They were gorgeous though. They cost me a couple of hundred euros. Subsequently I had them stolen in a pub in a few years later in England. Karma?

I feel a little ashamed when I think of how much I spent on sunglasses. Yes, I loved them but that money could have been given to charity to improve the lives of others. Boarding the plane I took a very pouty selfie in the glasses. When I look at the photo now I look so tanned and not quite real. I was happy more or less, more or less.... back then but it was too dependant on things that I had and how I looked. It wasn't deep to my core happiness that I feel now as I have learnt self-love, inner peace and calm through my Buddhist practice. I have less money now and less things but I have learnt a couple of valuable things that maybe are blindly obvious however worth mentioning I think.

It is the people who matter in your life not the things you have.

Self-love and self-acceptance is the biggest challenge you will face and an important things to conquer.

People will remember you not for what you had or what you said but they will remember you for how you made them feel and the love that you gave out.

A positive mentality is absolutely crucial in life. Full stop.

We are social creatures. Without love in whatever form in comes in we do not thrive.

To quote John Lennon "Love is the answer and you know that for sure"

Love and light,

Suzie xxx